Desperately (Should've known better)
by wicked-ohyeah
Summary: 1 song 2 POV, set after Keep your enemy closer. How Oliver and Felicity both deal with the aftermath of their discussion.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine!**

**Desperately by Michelle Branch**

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Something 'bout the way you looked at me.  
Made me think for a moment.  
That maybe we were meant to be.

There's something that changed in Oliver's eyes in the way he looks at her. She could see longing and regret in them, and if she was fooling herself, she would also say love. But that couldn't be, she was only transferring her feelings on him. But there was something that she couldn't put her finger on, that kept her pinning for him. Maybe she really just wished that someone of his prestige would look at her in a manner of awe and lustful curiosity.

Living our lives seperately.  
And it's strange that things change.  
But not me wanting you.  
So desperately.

"_**Hey. Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about."**_

Those words ringing in her ears, they bear the truth but it didn't keep the pain at bay. The petty part of her didn't think it was fair, he took chances with other women, albeit theyS all ended in the worst way possible. But how come she didn't fit, especially when she knew and understood him in ways that the others never did and never could. And she didn't think it was fair to him either, how could he live a life and total loneliness?

You looked my way and said "you frustrate me."  
So desperately.  
So desperately.

"_**But why her?"**_

Her voice sounded so desperate and she hated herself for it. But these three words simply spoke of everything she felt truthfully. But it frustrated her that out of any women he could've gone for, he chose her. Isabel didn't mean anything to him, it didn't mean anything, so why did it mean something to her? She wasn't naïve, especially after her experience in the arrow team, but she had hoped that eventually he would realize what have been in front of him. He would comprehend, that her feelings weren't just a school girl crush. What she felt for him had depth and meaning. But apparently, it was time for her to grow up.

Why can't I ignore it?  
I keep giving in but I should know better.  
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked me.

She needed to detached herself, she needed space to move on. She wouldn't look at him with longing anymore, she would actually keep her hands to herself the best that she could. But because of her job and of their "activity" it was nearly impossible to not be surrounded by him, but she needed to find a way. So she distanced herself from him without it being too obvious. And maybe she could finally accept the advances of that tech guy at the office. She would have a great date with him, give him a good chance and she would keep herself from comparing him to Oliver. She couldn't stay on the same course, she couldn't keep on giving herself false hope. She just couldn't.

I want you so desperately.  
I keep giving in but I should know better.  
I keep giving in but I should know better.

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**It's so short but better short and good than long and just horrible!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Something 'bout the way you looked at me.  
Made me think for a moment.  
That maybe we were meant to be.  
_

Even before the team was officially put together, he knew there was something special about her. There was something even more special between them, the way she eyed him. It wasn't different from the way other woman gazed at him with such lust and sense of attraction, but the way she would laid her eyes upon him made him wonder if she saw something more in him. Something that had been assumed to be gone forever, something that made him to be more than what he ever expected of himself. He didn't know yet everything that she would represent to him. The way other women would gawked at him never phased him, not before even less now. But she did have an effect on him. His body reacted in ways it never did before. By the simple act of Felicity grazing his body with her eyes.

_Living our lives seperately.  
And it's strange that things change.  
But not me wanting you.  
So desperately._

"_**Hey. Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about.**_

_**Felicity: Well, I think... I think you deserve better than her."**_

This conversation kept on replaying in his mind. Some much was said but still was kept hidden. It's like they couldn't bring themselves to say what they really wanted to say, he knew he couldn't. He meant what he said, because it wasn't an excuse, it was the truth and it had been proven before. It was the same thing for his "normal" life for more or less the same reason. Or maybe it was really because he didn't think that he was good enough for her. But repeating these justifications didn't help the ache he felt inside every time he would look at her.

_Then I missed my chance.__  
__And chances are it won't be coming back to me._

What wounded him the most, it's the subtle changes that occurred following their mission in Russia. She didn't touch him the way she would have before, when she tended to his wounds it was more mechanical than anything. She wouldn't actually have physical contact with him and even then he could feel the discomfort surrounding her. If he was too close to her personal space she would move from him in an imperceptible manner. But what destroyed him truly, is the fact that she was seeing someone but kept it from him but Diggle knew, she seemed to tell him everything. He could see how Diggle would give her signs of approbation and how the pair would gossip like two teenager during a slumber party, which he was never invited to. She seemed quite happy and it wasn't caused by him. That seemed to deepen the regret he was feeling about choosing not to connect with her on a romantic level. He wanted to go to her and orchestrate some grand gesture that would surely make her fall into his arms and she would forget all about this other guy. But he needed to get a grip and remember the promise he made, he would never do anything that would jeopardize the wellbeing of anyone he cared for. So he needed to keep his head low when it came to his feeling for Felicity and do everything he could to not fail this city.

_Oh, why can't I ignore it?__  
__I keep giving in, but I should know better._

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**Hope you liked it! please be nice and review! PLEASE!**


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